Goooood Mooooorning Mumbai. The time is whenever you wake up, but it doesn’t really matter. Whenever you wake up, it’s time to break your night fast. This sacred tradition is better known as breakfast. According to most doctors around the world, and your overly-protective grandmother, it’s the most important meal of the day. Unfortunately, only a small portion of Indians have the time to make a nutritious breakfast before leaving for work. This is a huge problem, especially in mega-cities like Mumbai. That’s why we are offering you five ways to make time for breakfast every morning.
- Teach your pet to cook for you This may sound like a crazy idea, but that’s only because it is. Nevertheless, this should not stop you from trying it. Get your dog, cat, or as the stereotype demands it, cow, and start teaching it how to make a delicious, nutritious meal, so you can eat it before leaving for work. The downside of this plan is that you will most probably still end up without breakfast. The positive, though, is that if you manage to teach your pet to cook, you will no longer have to work, since you will become a millionaire showing its skills.
- Let go of your personal hygiene Getting a shower, brushing your teeth, putting your makeup (if you are a woman), washing up. All excessively time consuming and tedious to do. Why not go all-natural. You will spare enough time to make breakfast and maybe even exercise. Suddenly you will realize that the public transport is not as crumpled as it once was. At least not for you, since no one would dare touch you. Still, you risk losing your job after your nosy colleagues complain that you smell like rotting fishes. After that, you will have all the time in the world to make breakfast. You won’t have the money to buy the products, but you will have the time, so let’s call it a win-lose situation.
- Learn to fly If you hadn’t had to go through all this traffic, you would have the time to prepare yourself a fresh, nutritious breakfast. Well, it’s high time to learn how to fly. That sounds crazy, I know but think of the possibilities. You would go out whenever you want. No traffic jams, no public transport, no traffic lights. Just you and the sky. Remember that the biggest problem with flying is the landing. So when you hit several times the ground, maybe it’d be best to leave this idea. You are simply not meant to fly like a bird.
- Stop sleeping Sleeping is a total waste of time. Who needs to sleep when you can do so much more with this time? You can go out with friends, dance, learn new stuff, or just watch the whole filmography of Amol Palekar in alphabetical order from A to Z. Most importantly, if you stop sleeping, you will have enough time to prepare breakfast, which is essential for your health. Of course, the downside is the horrific hallucinations that you’ll start heaving after 100 hours without sleep and the total organ failure soon after. But look at the bright side, after you’re dead, you won’t need work and/or breakfast.
- Break into a bakery After you realize you won’t be able to find enough time to prepare your own breakfast, try to buy one from… oh wait, nothing opens before 9 AM. The next logical step is to break into a bakery and steal their bread and breakfast. That sounds great, but a side effect of this method is a 1-5 year prison sentence. At least there you will have breakfast every morning, but is it worth it?
BONUS: A difficult yet doable solution to solve the problem is – The BreakFirst Club, who will have all you need for breakfast delivered to your lobby. They will deliver it just in time to properly start your day. Furthermore, your ultra-protective grandmother will stop nagging you about eating more regularly. It’s a win-win solution. The hard part is to visit their website with the terrible wi-fi and network connectivity in Mumbai and to fill in the lengthy form that asks for your name, phone number and email ID.