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Cows serving the milk needs of local dairy farmers in Mumbai are protesting this week to express outrage. The large cloven-hoofed animals will block the roundabout on Central Avenue and High Street, threatening to dump it all over with fecal matter.

The cows’ dissatisfaction is caused by the fact that a large part of the local population does not eat breakfast. This reduces the need for dairy products and increases unemployment in the bovine community. In turn, the problems and the stress of a cow losing her job will inevitably lead to deterioration in product quality, experts warn.

“We want people to start eating breakfast. What does it mean “There’s no time”? They can sit in the crapper for an hour after coffee, but they can’t take 15 minutes for breakfast,” asked Kanya, a mother of two calves and one of the protest’s leaders. “Before, when people had no choice and nowhere to get breakfast, no shops, cafes, or bakeries, I could understand them. Now, there are services like The BreakFirst Club that deliver milk almost directly from my udders. And they still don’t want to eat. It’s a disgrace and we won’t tolerate it anymore,” added the affected lady, who weighed about 800 kg.

“If people don’t want the streets of Mumbai to become like Pamplona during the San Fermin festival, I recommend that they start having breakfast immediately,” said the angry bull Vikrant, who is Kanya’s husband. He explained that his wife’s stress greatly affected their intimate life, and that drives him crazy.

The locals did not express any concern or sympathy for the cattle, even threatening to take away their sacred status if they dared to plunder their neighborhood. “No one can make me have breakfast. I know that all doctors recommend it. I know that it is useful and even vital for the proper development of my children. I also know that breakfast itself is a way for some of my neighbors to make a living, and is economically vital for the Mumbai, but I am determined to show that I am more stubborn than these cattle and will not eat breakfast, “said a passer-by, whose stomach was scraping like an old hacksaw trying to cut a new steel chain.

The local government refused to take sides in the dispute but said it would not prevent the cows from protesting. They will prepare a team of 10,000 cleaners to clean the streets and squares after the cows graze them. For their part, the ungulates threatened to try to eat spoiled hay so that they could catch diarrhea just in time for the protest.

“This is just the first step,” said the initiators of the demonstration. “If they don’t have breakfast, we will have breakfast with their interior,” they threatened, explaining that they will consume the grass from Heritage Garden Park next.

Dairy farmers and local dairy shops stood behind the cows’ demands and promised to help with everything they could. “Now everything is in the hands of the local population. We fully understand the cows’ worries, but if we can’t afford it, we can’t keep them at work. That’s why it’s good for people to start having breakfast,” the industry commented.

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